Reconnecting with Myself: The Power of Alone Time, Meditation, and Self-Understanding

There are times in life when the noise of the world and the constant demands of daily living pull us in every direction. In these moments, Ive found that alone time on the mat meditating and simply being with myself is essential for re-centering. Meditation has become a powerful practice for me, a way to ground myself and reconnect with my inner peace. And while I believe you can teach yourself how to mediate, I also think theres something deeply transformative about learning solid techniques, or even going on a retreat. Its not essential, but it can be a game-changer. For me, though, that journey of learning was something I couldn’t navigate alone.

Alone time can be a double-edged sword. While it offers the space for reflection, it also gives room for the mind to race, and when that happens, it can feel like everything starts to fall apart. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how easy it is to lose sight of our own sparkle, inner radiance that seems to fade when life throws too much our way. But the one thing I’ve come to realise, after 59 years of living and learning, is this: it’s my responsibility and mine alone to meet my deep inner needs and tend to my feelings. In doing so, I can address the challenges that arise in the healthiest, most self-compassionate ways possible.

Of course, I haven’t always gotten it right. As a therapist, there’s an additional layer of responsibility to be authentic, to be congruent, and to know myself as deeply as I can. But the truth is, even the best of us sometimes struggle to live in alignment with our deepest truths. For me, my childhood struggles as a neurodivergent child have shaped many of the attitudes I carry with me today. There’s a tendency to be hard on myself when I’m feeling vulnerable, to look back at the ways I struggled in school unable to keep up with the others, unable to learn the way they expected me to and the resulting shame that followed.

Growing up in a time when knowledge about neurodiversity was scarce, I faced a lot of misunderstanding, not just from my peers, but from the adults around me, parents, teachers, and bosses. Despite their best intentions, the support I needed often wasn’t available, and over time, I developed a strong intolerance for ignorance and a lack of understanding. This stems from my own experience of feeling unheard, unable to express myself the way I needed to, and unable to thrive in a system that didn’t understand how to nurture me.

I know now that many of the attitudes I’ve carried through life, especially those of judgment and impatience, are deeply tied to this past to my struggles with being understood. The shame that was buried deep within me for so long, the shame of being forgetful, not reading early on, and struggling with numbers, became an invisible weight I carried. The impact this had on how I was perceived, and how I saw myself, has sometimes led to self-blame or even self-loathing. We can project these feelings outwardly, sometimes unknowingly, and it can show up as judgmental or unkind behavior, or even just general unpleasantness.

What I’ve come to understand is that many of the struggles we face, whether in learning or in life, are there for a reason. Whether they stem from trauma or neurological differences, or a combination of both, they often manifest in ways that look very similar. What we, as a society and I include myself in this need more of is patience, understanding, and the ability to see each person as an individual. We need to recognize that everyone has their own desires to grow, to learn, and to evolve, but the path to getting there is unique to each of us.

As adults, it becomes our responsibility to care for our own emotional well-being and self-actualization. Before we reach adulthood, ideally, we have a support system that helps guide us through this process parents, teachers, mentors people who nurture our growth and help us find our way. However, for many of us, this support may have been absent or insufficient, leaving us to navigate this journey on our own. Without that early guidance, it can be harder to cultivate self-love, self-care, and the ability to recognize and meet our deep needs. This lack of support can make it feel like an uphill battle to get to a place of self-compassion. But it’s not impossible. The process may take longer, and the road might be rougher, but with patience and a willingness to explore our inner world, we can eventually find our way back to ourselves.

Meditation, particularly the 10-day silent retreats I’ve participated in, has helped me in ways I never anticipated. It has truly changed my brain and nervous system, allowing me to not just cope, but thrive in a way that I wasn’t sure was possible. It’s also opened me up to the idea that learning , whether it’s about the world around me or about myself , is a lifelong journey. Now, learning is one of my greatest passions.

In the end, we all carry layers of our past experiences, some heavier than others. But it’s in facing these layers with love and acceptance, rather than judgment, that we unlock our truest potential. It’s through self-understanding, and the willingness to explore and grow, that we find the freedom to reconnect with our inner sparkle.

I want to emphasizes the importance of a support system in childhood, as well as the responsibility we take on as adults to care for ourselves and navigate our personal growth. This comes from the idea of self-love and care, but highlighting how our early experiences can shape the journey, especially if that support was lacking.